mood: sad / very emotional
listening to: lotz of different sad songs

Its been so long since i've actually cried, that now that I want to they won't come. Its like I've held them back for so long that now they don't wanna come. Talking to Ash about relationships... moreso about Justin and what all went on right b4 I left, right now all I wanna do is cry. I did the dumb thing and listened to I Miss You and remembered the day b4 I left I'd listened to it & i was pacing around my driveway (cause that was the only place I could cry w/o my parents getting mad at me) and then like 10 min later Justin came over & I just cried. Iwas so stupid to never say anything... and to act like I hated him, and in the end it all came back to me and kicked me in the ass. I wanted to run, so I could stay in Fla forever, but I was afraid that if I ever wanted to see my mom again that I wouldn't be able to find her. I just wanna rewind time and live that year and a half all over. Only I wouldn't go back just to change it to how it should've been... I'd do all of it the same way-> I'd do it all exactly the same way, because that's what I remember and that's what I loved & had so much fun doin. And that's what I miss... I miss how things were, not how they should've been. I'd do it mostly for my friends. OMG I miss u all sooooo much. And I love u all too. U cared about me, u're my family, and ur the reason I'm still alive. The ppl I kno out here haven't really done anything for me... u actually saved my life. U all didn't just think I should get help, you made me get help. And I'm thankful for it, no matter how much I complained I'm thankful. I shall end now. I don't want to just keep repeating myself over and over again. Love, Monkey

damn!
your gonna make me cry! I sometimes wish i could relive 8th grade, it's not the same without you guys. Even my close friend Catlin goes to OHS and we never talk. I really hope you come down to Fla in the summer, I can't wait to see ya! LYLAS!
» Midnight on 2004-12-23 08:39:13

nothing much ere to say really
it sounds like u wnana go back to florida. where did u live in florida anyways i gotta friend that lives there. just rethink things a little. kno that that is ur past and the present is even better if u make it that way.
» suicidemakessomuchsense on 2004-12-24 10:15:59

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